[Subtitles by danielsangeo]
I'm about 95% sure this
scientist didn't kill himself
to paint the floor with his own blood as
part of a performance art piece he was doing.
Even Engineering wouldn't
do something like that.
if I turned around every time I saw a
dead body and a huge blood trail...
well, I'd probably be
a lot safer right now
but I wouldn't be any closer to
getting out of here, so...
I'm not a crime scene specialist
but I think we can rule out nosebleed.
Well, maybe, if he sneezed there...
Well, I don't see any
casings or bullet holes,
so what was the cause of--
Dammit, of course! That's
like rule number 1!
It's Occam's Shuriken! When the answer
is elusive, never rule out ninjas!
Where are they coming from?
See? That one dropped in from
nowhere; I should expect that!
But, at the same time, I can't
expect that because they're ninjas.
As soon as I expect it,
they won't do it.
Ninjas understand quantum
mechanics better than people realize.
That was a controversial part
of my dissertation.
Shit, is that all of them?
You can never prove the absence
of ninjas, only their direct presence.
Oh, this must be how they're
getting in here.
Hell, if I can climb this, so can a...
This also confirms what I saw yesterday
was real because I thought I saw ninjas,
but that was kind of fuzzy in my head,
but here they are, without a doubt.
I need to stop doubting my own
sanity because I'm still right about
Oh, my God, did I hit that one?
Yeah, you can't double-back on
ninjas. You have to triple-back.
I can't even really be sure if the
ninjas I've shot are actually dead.
They could just be faking it.
They don't seem have much armor so they can't
take the 12-gauge, but the 9 millimeter?
I can NOT be too careful!
But, yeah, I remember reading
about those Colombian drug lords
buying designer clothes that were
bulletproof against low-caliber shots.
So, it wouldn't surprise me one bit
if ninja suits had something
similar woven into them.
Y'know, I'm going to freak out if I
come back and all the bodies are gone.
Now, I don't get it. They seem
to be wearing night-vision goggles.
If I was a ninja, like a legit one,
I would start shooting out the lights.
That would be a big advantage.
But, I'm not going to tell
them how to do their job.
Death can be a learning experience.
But, really, in all likelihood,
this is how I'm going to die.
Not today, I'm strapped and
wired as shit right now,
but hey, maybe a year
from now-- ten years--
it's almost a certainty ninjas are going
to track me down and try and kill me.
It's a matter of honor now.
And, really, it's no surprise, given
my lifestyle. I'd hardly be the first.
Ettore Majorana. Brilliant theoretical
physicist, friends with Heisenberg,
wasn't much older than me before
he was killed by ninjas.
[agrunts growl]
[screaming]
[hivehand fires]
YOU'RE NOT A NINJA! STOP PRETENDING!
DAMMIT! YOU TRICKED ME INTO
KILLING YOU IN A REALLY LOUD WAY!
OH, WHAT ARE YOU COMPLAINING
ABOUT? YOU HAVE A HELMET!
This is bullshit! We need to nuke this
whole place as soon as I'm out.
Christ, I'm running light on bullets
because every one of you bastards
are built like... jacked-up
space bouncers!
I'm starting to think your species
communicates only through
a series of body lifts and squat thrusts.
Oh, what the fuck is that?! SOMEBODY
ELSE TRYING TO TAKE A SHOT AT ME?!
I kind of botched that. Stupid railing.
Well, I woke them up at the very least.
I should move in for a closer shot
while they... meditate... or...
I-I don't know what they're doing.
AAAH!
SCIENTIST: I apologize, Mr. Freeman,
SCIENTIST: but I couldn't risk opening that
door until I was sure you had scoured the area.
SCIENTIST: This is the last
entrance to the Lambda Complex.
SCIENTIST: Every other has been
sealed off to contain the invasion.
SCIENTIST: When we realized that
you might actually make it here
SCIENTIST: we drew straws to see who
should stay behind to let you through.
SCIENTIST: Obviously, I
drew the short one.
Okay, okay, I won't kill you.
SCIENTIST: ...tip of the Lambda
Reactor. Waiting for YOU, I mean.
SCIENTIST: The reactor is shut
down right now,
SCIENTIST: but you can activate
it on your way up.
SCIENTIST: You'll have to flood the core
anyway to get into the Teleportation Labs.
SCIENTIST: You're not authorized
to know about those,
SCIENTIST: but I can see you already know a
great deal more than any one man is supposed to.
What the hell are you talking
about Teleportation "Labs"?
Do we have a room to study this already?
Okay, well, first off, that
containment shit isn't going to work.
They're teleporting. We need to leave!
Hey, your thing's broken.
Yeah, you take a look at it.
But, seriously, how are you going to
seal off monsters teleporting in from the air?
You think if you deadbolt the
door that'll do it. You're safe?
And what was all that crap about
a reactor and flooding it or something?
Everyone here is talking like
I've missed some sort of briefing.
SCIENTIST: Were you in
Weapons Research, too?
SCIENTIST: I built the gluon gun,
SCIENTIST: but I just can't bring
myself to use it on a living creature.
SCIENTIST: You don't look as if
you have any trouble killing things.
Yeah, this blood's not coming off, is it?
So, what did you say this was?
A prototype leaf-blower?
I don't know, man, this thing's pretty
heavy, and I'm already carrying a load.
I may not be able to haul this too far.
Well, as long as it's sealed.
So, uh, hey, what's this do?
Oh, shit! I need to conserve ammo!
[scientist screaming]
I'M NOT DEALING WITH THIS!
YOU HANDLE IT! YOUR LAB, YOUR RULES!
Sometimes, I wonder... if I
could've done things differently...